I’m A Movie Teen And This Is Exactly How I Talk

HHey Boomer! Yes, I’m a teenager in a movie and that’s really how I talk, mmmk? Despite growing up in a Midwestern suburb, I speak with the kind of creative 25-year-old confidence and inflection of a Kardashian, both of which are normal for someone who has braces and is building her own doctor. Too nervous for. appointments. I don’t stumble over my words, and I’m especially articulate when delivering a clever comeback.

Sorry not sorry, but I’m living absolutely rent free in your mind!

This may not sound like a fire emoji to you, but it’s actually my regular vocabulary. I’m an AP English student and chair of the mock trial team, but I’m also screwed for my latest BA. stay mad! Is it crazy? Is It Giving Off Too Extra Vibes?

I just wanted to check with you, make sure you’re not being too salty about this whole process of connecting with the younger generation. All Gucci? Even though I’m theoretically graduating in less than a year, these are actually the same words I used in a college essay. I explained to the Harvard University admissions board that sometimes, family can be more valuable than family. He called it a “poignant commentary on the advantage of choosing your community”.

OK, period!

Is talking to my mom and bestie like this a type of beauty of mine? Got it? isn’t it? well whatever. I didn’t write this movie, someone who hasn’t been to high school in 15 years wrote it. He took a position in a writer’s room because he needed to pay rent and heard that Seth Rogan was attached. He is not at all. he has already done worst, she has done! Nevertheless, the person has signed a contract and is happy to get the test work and has become addicted to test tiktok while researching these phrases. POV: You are crazy about Tiktok and thirsty for money…

Speaking of TikTok, I’ll do a dance soon, because all teenagers have a dance-centric algorithm. I will demonstrate something simple and non-threatening, which is extremely difficult because teenagers are the most dangerous age of people. It will be a simple EDM type beat. It exists solely in the plot so that when I mess up the steps, my BFF Chloe will attack me, which suggests that maybe my queen bee status is getting worse.

Speaking of crumble… my bestie’s dance moves ate it up and didn’t leave any crumbs behind!

I suppose there is another end of this linguistic spectrum, in that I am John Green’s archetype and speak with the same grandiose quality about literature and feelings that can be divorced on the brink of emotional and financial ruin. However, this is not that kind of film. This is the kind of movie where I’m desperately trying to find wine and a boyfriend (who for some reason doesn’t speak with any kind of trendy phrases). Despite being the first person I dated, we end up getting married in the epilogue. Kill!

Let’s be real for a second: I don’t need to be your favorite character in this movie. I don’t even want to be. My goal is just to try or die. I want to shine by act three. I want to send a text blast to the whole school. I want to get out before I get sent to boarding school or college or Pennsylvania or whatever.

No hat, that’s really how I talk. get used to.



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